Sunday, May 22, 2011

The Most Conceited Male I Know

His favorite way to pass the time is looking at himself in the mirror.

As far as relationships go?  He's his own best friend.

He rarely shuts up...his nagging can go on for hours.

He hates the mechanical beast I moved into the living room.  He yells at me every time it's doing its thing.  I suppose he's upset that I didn't ask his opinion...or invade our home with a monster version of my sewing machine.  I didn't think to ask, I honestly didn't think he would mind.

His selfishness makes me crazy.  I'm doing all the work, and he gets to enjoy the proceeds.  The least he could do is be supportive and stop complaining.

On top of all that, he's a player.  Sometimes he'll whisper sweet nothings in my ear and get ....affectionate.  He'll have me convinced I'm something special,  then he'll let something nasty drop behind my back.

I usually hear about it from somebody else.

And trust me, I'm not the only girl he tries to beguile.  He's especially attracted to those who really don't like his type, the women who play hard-to-get.  It's so awkward when he shamelessly flirts in front of me.

It's hard on my self esteem.

Why do I keep him around?  Good question.  Let's just say I'm a sucker for a good voice.

And life is much more interesting with a parakeet.

1 comment:

  1. I love it!! My sister has 5 of these talking birds that can change their voices. She got my brother hooked on them and now he and his wife have 7 of them.

    I was over at her house a few years ago, and Dad was there too. I was in the bedroom and so I walked into the den to check on him. He was asleep! One of those birds had called out to me!

    Your post was wonderful! When I was reading, I thought you were talking about a dog. My Welsh Corgi (who is female) can go on for hours and hours.

    I'm so happy I found your blog! You just made my day!