There is something living in the ceiling above my daughter's desk at work.
Her coworkers doubt it, but I don't. It doesn't matter that I'm 2000 miles away.
Our family knows about these things.
There was something living in the ceiling of my son's bedroom. It was really loud and it was really annoying.
It was a squirrel. A big, fat squirrel with a big, fat family. We didn't care about the little guys, we figured if we caught the ring leader the rest would be so terrified they would choose to relocate.
An official neighborhood meeting was called to develop strategy. We decided we really didn't want to hurt him. We just wanted to prove we were smarter than he was.
So we set traps. Lots and lots of traps...all over the roof.
We caught nothing. This guy was stealthy.
He was evasive, too. We hadn't even caught a glimpse of him.
The noise grew louder. My son had to move out of his room.
We had another meeting to regroup and reorganize. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Out came the BB guns.
No need to call the ASPCA...as hard as they tried they weren't able to hunt him down. And I really did get tired of little boys in camo hiding in my backyard.
Poison didn't seem like a good idea, what if our nemesis died in the rafters and stunk up the whole house for months? It was time to call in reinforcements. Or a realtor.
My friend and I stood outside the house and discussed my options.
That's when we saw it. A lone wasp drifted through a tiny crack above my son's bedroom window.
My friend got some silicone and sealed up the crack. About a week later the noise stopped and my son moved back into his bedroom.
We never did see that stupid squirrel.
I heard he moved to Portland and is living in the ceiling above my daughter's desk.