Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Matters Of The Heart

There are good things about my heart.  It’s loyal, committed and very optimistic.

There are bad things about my heart, too.  It’s loyal, committed and very optimistic.

I have often thought a person's greatest weakness is their greatest strength taken too far.

One spring many years ago, someone important to me made a decision that greatly impacted my life and the lives of those I love.  A different heart may have seen it coming.  A different heart may even have prepared for it.  But my heart was surprisingly surprised.  It was also utterly devastated. To say I had a hard time accepting what had happened would be a tremendous understatement.

There is a lilac bush in my front yard; it was planted the first year we lived here.  I love lilacs, but didn’t know much about them.  I didn’t realize they don’t respond to pruning and I lost all potential blossoms for years to come. 

I prayed many desperate prayers during that painful spring, but I distinctly remember letting God know it would have been nice if he had made my lilac bush bloom. Couldn’t he have looked ahead and seen how much I needed that beauty in my life?  With all the heartache and change, was that too much to ask?

I had been in town one morning and as I pulled back into my driveway I noticed a flash of color in the front yard.  I couldn’t believe my eyes…there were dozens of beautiful flowers on my lilac bush.  I had no idea how I could have missed seeing the buds.  As I drew closer, I realized the blossoms were artificial; they had been skillfully attached by my caring and thoughtful neighbor.

God made sure my lilac bloomed all summer, long after all others had stopped.

It took several years for the dust to settle around that decision, and my heart continued to pray and hope for the best.  I got it, too, it just wasn’t what I thought it would be.

These last few months have found my heart grieving over another decision that hurt.  The circumstances are not the same, but painful none-the-less. A different heart may have been able to let go.  A different heart may have given up.  But this is my heart. It will continue to pray and hope for the best, this time remembering the best may not be what I think it should be.

The moose that frequent my yard continually prune my lilac...it bloomed for the first time in ten years last spring. Was God a year early in providing the beauty I needed?  No.  

I've been watching it bloom all winter long.  

1 comment:

  1. Wow, Kathy! Not only are you a great quilter but you're a great writer. What a fun outlet for you thoughts.