Life comes with transitions. Some are harder than others, but there really is no getting around them. As the saying goes, the only thing certain in life is change.
I was not prepared for the transitions that entered my life last fall. My youngest got married in August, and when I returned home from the wedding, it dawned on me that neither of my kids live here any more. That, coupled with the end of something important to me, set my world rocking.
It decked me. And I'm not easily decked
I felt like I no longer had a purpose. I felt insignificant. I felt lost. I'm not saying those things are true, I'm saying they felt true.
Have you been there?
I spent months pouring my heart out to the Lord. "What's the next thing? Where do I go from here? Why does everything so familiar feel so wrong? What's wrong with me?" I peppered God with those questions, but no answers came. So I cried a lot, prayed a lot, and waited. I honestly didn't know what I was waiting for; I would have been satisfied to just feel better about life.
I've heard people say they have no choice but to wait on God. That isn't a true statement because we always have choices. At least I knew I did. I could push doors open that needed to remain shut, I could make a stupid decision, I could start drinking, smoking and chasing wild men. But I knew I didn't want to do something that might hurt those I love or my walk with the Lord. So I waited in an emotional pit and it was really, really hard.
A few weeks ago, I found myself humbled before God in a way I have never experienced before. In his mercy, he met me in that dark place and let me know he would help me wait. We would wait together. My
circumstances didn't change and I really didn't feel different. But in some inexplicable way, I knew different.
Then he moved.
He moved so fast my head was spinning. I'm still dizzy.
I've never written a post about my love for quilting on this blog, but many of you know how much it means to me. For years I have dreamed of going into business as a long arm quilter, but the machinery required for that is very expensive and I knew it would never happen.
Today it did.
I know, right?!!!!!
I've been hearing rumors for months that one of the local long arm quilters was trying to sell her set-up, but I knew I could never afford it. A couple of weeks ago a friend encouraged me to give the seller a call and just chat. So I did. She had already committed to another buyer, it was pretty much a done deal. End of story...
...Until she called me last Saturday to tell me the deal had fallen through. I worked up a business plan on Sunday, secured my financing on Monday and today I bought a Gammill Long Arm Quilting Machine. It's huge, it's overwhelming, it's amazing and it comes home next weekend.
She Likes Quilts is born.
If you had told me last September that this would happen in April, I would have laughed in your face and stomped on your foot. But God knew. God knew all along that he was going to bless me with this amazing opportunity. I believe he left me waiting in the dark so I would learn to trust him in the dark. Even though I couldn't see him, he was working. He's all over this decision and all over my life.
Friend, that's true for you, too.
I will keep my day job, but at night and on the weekends I will be at home where I belong, finishing the quilts entrusted to me by quilters on the Kenai Peninsula. It will be a lot of work, but I'm ready.
Thanks to all of you who have looked me in the eye and said, "DUH! This is perfect!" And thanks to those who made it possible...you know who you are.
So...She still Likes Skirts. Now She Likes Quilts.
And She knows that waiting on God in the dark is far better than being without him in the light.